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Mabeo is a member of Positive Connection, the only Internet dating forum geared to people with HIV in South Africa, the country with more infections – over 5 million and counting – than any other. I still haven’t found anyone I’ve gotten romantically involved with, but I’m carefully going through the list. AIDS is no longer an automatic killer here. As in the United States, it has become a chronic illness for those with access to antiretroviral drugs. Up to , South Africans are on treatment, well below the half-million deemed in urgent need of care but far more than a few years ago.
Life insurance is an option for some with HIV, and medical advances make it easier to bear healthy children. Yet romance remains a fraught pursuit. Despite an adult HIV prevalence rate of about 20 percent, the stigma attached to the disease remains harsh. HIV-negative people, not surprisingly, want to stay virus-free, site members say, and are likely to bolt if a partner discloses positive status.
Members are gay and straight, white and black, secretaries and bankers, with one other tie: access to the Internet. But some AIDS experts say that while they understand the appeal, they worry it could hinder efforts to bring carriers of the virus further into mainstream society. If you start having dating Web sites specifically for them, it will ghettoize them and make them a separate segment,” says Debbie Mathew, who directs the AIDS Foundation of South Africa.
Olive Shisana, author of a recent AIDS study conducted by the Human Sciences Research Council, says nearly half of South Africans surveyed think there is nothing wrong with marrying someone with HIV, even though that would always require protected sex.
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Ben Sassman, founder of the website, said “normal” dating sites do not ask you for your HIV status, which still leaves people who are HIV.
Join and create your free profile today to see how well you match with her, and hundreds more. Online: More than 6 months ago. Modified: More than 6 months ago. Mobile number not yet verified. Ask her to add you as a favourite. Contact Her. The SA Government would rather scare people correctly. Why the stigma? If you have it – you will know that it is the most difficult thing to disclose.
So you meet someone and get on really well with them – but then theres the big “Do I? Do you spend weekends and Friday nights on your own because the trauma of disclosing? Wouldn’t it be great to meet people that you don’t have to explain anything to? So lets meet up and have some fun – and if theres a match then so be it. Gays and Blacks have soooo many of their own websites and dating sites that the poor white straight person who has this is left out in the dark.
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But his contribution turned out to be significant. The website has more than registered members today, one of the biggest of its kind worldwide, with members from Thailand to Kenya. The Johannesburg businessman, who provides stone for road building, said he never expected such a huge response. I’m happy to have done what I can. At what point do you tell somebody who you like that you are HIV-positive? He said if he told girls his status, they would run away.
Sassman’s solution was to set up a site where disclosure was no longer an issue. I send you an e-mail. If you click on the link, it will then activate. It’s that easy. Most members remain anonymous and use nicknames, although many members are open about their status and have even attended meet-and-greet parties. The last one in Johannesburg drew over people.